(Contact Dr. Frantz on the web at www.mlcchurch.com.)
It's okay if you don't get everything done. With the season of Advent upon us and with the buzz and excitement of Christmas around the corner, many of us, no doubt, are already too busy and stressing over deadlines.
How does the holiday season work for you? Do you tend to get overcommitted, with too much on your plate? Does the season end up being more stress-filled than you would like? Much of our problem with the holidays is the level of expectation we hold. Simply put, we expect so much – all the things we think we have to do to enjoy the festivities and traditions of the season.
Growing up in the Midwest, I remember my mother, every Christmas, sending out Christmas cards to this long list of people. It seemed like it took forever but it was like it had to be done. It was expected. It seems that the tradition of Christmas cards is fading, being replaced, if at all, by some on line expression of holiday best wishes.
In addition, of course, there is the manic shopping, the baking and decorating. There are all sorts of parties; there are family and friends coming in from out of town. It is a wild and oft-times unwieldy time of the year.
So, what are we to do? To begin with, can we cut ourselves some slack and agree that it's okay if we don't get everything done. Better still, how about us doing less? We only have so much time. Part of the challenge of the holidays is to allow our very real time constraints to shape the commitments and plans we take on.
Again, there is only so much time; and it's okay if we don't do everything we did last year, or ten years ago. In the fast pace of the season, it is important to remind ourselves that life is a process and that the deeper meaning and joy of life is in the quality of the process and not in the quantity of things we get done. During the holiday season, there is something to be said about stopping to smell the roses.
Paradoxically, while we might expect our technology to be helpful in our busyness by making us more efficient, in fact it makes things worse by allowing us too many options. Simplifying our lives in ways more agreeable to our psyche and spirit is becoming increasingly important. In this regard, it is helpful to know ourselves and have a sense of our own limits.
Capturing the simple joys of the season. I don't know about you, but I hate long lines at the supermarket. A colleague tells a story of the express line at the local Publix. It's almost six o'clock and the line stretches halfway back to the bananas. Tired after a long day and in a hurry to get home for a late dinner, the people glare at the cashier, half-audibly counting the items in the baskets in front of them.
At the front of the line, an elderly woman opens her purse and painstakingly counts out some bills and a handful of coins. She says something to the cashier, who takes a package of cheese back out of the plastic shopping bag, places the cheese next to the cash register and rings up a new total. The coin counting begins again and finally the woman picks up her bag to go.
Behind her, the line gets even more restless and you can feel the tension. No one says a word but they want to.
They want to ask, what's taking so long? No doubt many are thinking, when I get to the cash register, I will efficiently swipe my card and be on my way. Meanwhile, the next man in line steps up to the cash register, speaks to the cashier, then picks up the abandoned cheese and rushes over to the elderly woman before she can leave the store.
He hands her the package of cheese and as everyone watched, she first tries to reject his offer; however he insists. And then she motions for him to bend over and she kisses him affectionately on the cheek.
Suddenly, in the heart-beat of that moment, the mood at Publix is totally changed. The express line lets out a collective awww and the shoppers smile at each other as the man quickly finishes paying for his groceries and exits the store.
It is a hectic time of year. Yet, look what an act of kindness can do. It can change everything.
My hope for us all this holiday season is that we not beat ourselves up too much thinking we've got to be superman or superwoman between now and the new year. Let the holidays come and let us take enough pause to savor the moment!